JMBell

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251 The LEFT Show – Hanging Doubt

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The were four in the room – JM Bell, Taylor Hunsaker, JC Carter, and Bob Easton (Forrest was on assignment). It’s a goofy bugger of a show with Forrest out in the world, but we trudge seriously on!

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THE LEFT SHOW 

SHOW BUSINESS 
 
UPCOMING EVENTS! 
Star Wars! – Comic Con – Nerd Store! – http://on.fb.me/1JF20kD
Something Nice
Guy Takes His Taxi Driver To Theme Park http://bit.ly/1Q0J7Ot
Then … Somethings Shitty
We’re now averaging more than one mass shooting a day. http://bit.ly/1MVHrpA
‘Sting’ Videos Of Planned Parenthood Are Totally Manipulated http://huff.to/1JF2dEl
——–
Terrible Shit Revisited
Commemorating the 10th Anniversary of Hurricane Katrina  http://1.usa.gov/1MVHK3D
Hurricane Katrina and the aftermath http://usat.ly/1MVHSAe
Stop Blaming Me for Hurricane Katrina http://politi.co/1JF1uDj
Ten years after Katrina, Bush makes a low-key return to New Orleans http://wapo.st/1MVHX6J
On The Other Hand 
DNC Chair Blocked Dem Resolution To Support Iran Deal http://bit.ly/1JF10wU
AUTO PLAYS – O’Malley challenges DNC over ‘rigged’ debate schedule http://bit.ly/1JF14MY
DNC chair gives Martin O’Malley death stare after scathing speech  http://bit.ly/1JF12F3
——–
FUCKWIT PIT 2016 
Sarah Palin interviewed Donald Trump http://exm.nr/1JF1QcQ
‘Pendulum Factor’ could land Trump in White House http://bit.ly/1JF19Ax
Ben Carson: There’s No War On Women, But On ‘What’s Inside Of Women’  http://bit.ly/1JF1l2t
Carly Fiorina claims the Republican Party is discriminating against her  http://bit.ly/1JF1sLF
Boehner Calls Cruz A ‘Jackass’ At Fundraiser http://bit.ly/1JF1p2k
Political Operatives Abandon Koch Network For Donald Trump  http://bit.ly/1JF1tzb
——–
ENTERTAINMENT 
Watch Ronda Rousey’s Fierce New Carl’s Jr. Ad http://bit.ly/1JF2cAh
Jennifer Lawrence And Amy Schumer Are Writing A Screenplay Togetherhttp://uproxx.it/1JF2erQ
AMC Is Planning A Stand-Alone ‘The Walking Dead’ Episode  http://uproxx.it/1JF2kzL
‘The Walking Dead’ Season 6 May Introduce Series’ Biggest, Baddest Villain Yethttp://bit.ly/1Q0IpAH
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249 The LEFT Show – Mountaineering and Yodels

On the penultimate show on 250 Eve we had nearly a full house in the studio. JM Bell, Ultimate Bob, Melissa Merlot, Forrest Shaw, and even JC Carter for a bit. I’d love to tell you all about the show, but, I lost control early on, and I have little to no memory of what happened.

I apologize if you’re offended.*

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THE LEFT SHOW LINKS 

 
THE WORLD! 
Julian Bond, Former N.A.A.C.P. Chairman and Civil Rights Leader, Dies at 75  http://nyti.ms/1NyZz75
Dozens of retired generals, admirals back Iran nuclear deal  http://wapo.st/1NyXCYm
SCIENCE AND ENTERTAINMENT 
Bob Johnston, Producer for Bob Dylan, Johnny Cash & More, Dies at 83  http://bit.ly/1UMtxJ2
Extinct tree grows anew from ancient jar of seeds unearthed by archaeologists  http://bit.ly/1NyXDvl
The Emerging Fetish of Laying Alien Eggs Inside Yourselfhttp://bit.ly/1NyXGY3
Twitter Erupts With Bad Jokes After ‘Sesame Street’ Gets Picked Up By HBOhttp://bit.ly/1NyXJD2
THE GOPwow 
Lawmaker who gave adopted girls to rapist, to receive award from “family” group  http://bit.ly/1NyZJv4
A Rape Advocate Is Targeting Canadian Women In an Online Harassment Campaignhttp://bit.ly/1NyZYq8
Ben Carson Doesn’t Apologize For Fetal Tissue Research, Because It Was Never About Thathttp://slate.me/1NyZMab
Palate Cleanser Zuckerberg Donates Millions To Planned Parenthoodhttp://bit.ly/1NyZJv4
THE FOLLOW UP 
18 CEOs Called Out By Bernie Sanders  http://bit.ly/1Nz0xQE
New JRR Tolkien Story To Hit Shelves in October  http://bit.ly/1Nz0JPU
‘Groove Is in the Heart’ Turns 25: A Look Back http://bit.ly/1Nz0Mv5
* No, I’m not.
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248 The LEFT Show – SU;FTG

Big Spiffy Week at The LEFT Show! Taylor is finally back – for a minute, and JM Bell, Forrest and Ultimate Bob are joined by the Uber-popular, and super famous Richard Bonaduce <– Seriously! It’s a funny, delightful, and educational show! Listen in!

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BIG NEWS 

Ronda Rousey reveals cold message she delivered  http://bit.ly/1WbzVet
Porn Site to WWE Thanks for the Publicity http://bit.ly/1HyzeAX
BIGGER NEWS
Jon Stewart and ‘The Daily Show’: 9 Essential Moments  http://nyti.ms/1HyxJT4
Best of Enemies: Jon Stewart’s 10 Favorite ‘Daily Show’ Targets  http://rol.st/1hr3Gb9
Hillary Clinton expertly trolls GOP candidates http://bit.ly/1HyxWWv
THE REPUGLICUNT DEBACLE
 
KIDDIE TABLE – 
Rick Perry Forgets How Long He Spent As Governor (VIDEO)
The 10 HORSEMEN 
AUTO PLAYS – GOP Debate: Best and worst money moments http://cnnmon.ie/1HyyETB
GOP Debate: What Was the Best One-Liner? http://slate.me/1hr3gl6
Trump Retweets Insult Calling Debate Moderator Megyn Kelly A ‘Bimbo’ http://bit.ly/1HyyQ5i
Potential Leader of the Free World Spends Night Harassing Woman on Twitter  http://bit.ly/1hr3R6d
Donald Trump’s invite to RedState event revoked over Megyn Kelly comments  http://politi.co/1HyyYSs
BONUS
Most retweeted GOP debate tweet was written by Bernie Sanders  http://bit.ly/1HyyMCB
The Empty Democratic Message – Jason’s TST – http://bit.ly/1Hyy6Nz
Obama Stands Up For Veterans By Vowing To Veto GOP Bill That Cut Benefits For 70,000 Vetshttp://bit.ly/1hr3J6P
SCIENCE AND ENTERTAINMENT 
Did NASA’s Curiosity rover take a picture of a lady on Mars? http://bit.ly/1Hyztfa
Did Curiosity Snap An Image Of A Mysterious Creature On Mars? http://bit.ly/1HyzuQi
Mars Exploration Rovers Update: Opportunity Enters Marathon Valley, Begins Walkabouthttp://bit.ly/1hr2B34
Stonewall Movie Erases Trans Women And Black Drag Queens From History http://bit.ly/1hr3Oat
HIGH NOTE! 
Elizabeth Warren humiliates Senate GOP: “Did you fall down, hit your head”  http://bit.ly/1hr3Q27
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246 The LEFT Show – HISTORY!

JM Bell, Forrest Shaw, JC Carter, and Melissa Merlot gather to talk about Chattanooga, race, guns, the military, and American mental health. NASA, Pluto, Amy Shumer, and a giant stack of dumb Republicans. It’s a classic of its type!

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THE LEFT SHOW NEWS 

 
OH NOES! 
ON SEPTEMBER 23, 2015 SATAN WILL RECEIVE FULL REIGN OVER THE WORLD!http://bit.ly/1OfHta1
Ann Coulter: “I Will Sue Every Website Or Comentator That Suggests I’m Transgender”http://bit.ly/1OfJ5AL
RACE, GUNS, MILITARY, AND MENTAL HEALTH 
AUTO PLAY – Chattanooga Shooting: Four Marines One Seaman Dead in Shooting at Military Offices  http://abcn.ws/1OfGWVC
AUTO PLAY – Alleged Chattanooga Shooter’s Family Says He Suffered From Depression  http://abcn.ws/1OfH7QM
AUTO PLAY – Governors Authorize National Guard to be Armed After Chattanooga Attackhttp://nbcnews.to/1OfHbjI
Fox Runs With Bogus ISIS Link To Chattanooga Shooting http://mm4a.org/1OfHKdk
Media And Law Enforcement Quickly Call Tenn. Shooter A ‘Terrorist’ — But Dylann Roof Wasn’t?http://bit.ly/1OfI7o6
DUMB REPUBLICANS (PART ONE) 
New Zealand’s Top Newspaper: Conservatives Are ‘The Greatest Threat To America’  http://bit.ly/1OfHV8s
Mitch McConnell Wants The Elderly And Disabled To Pay For Highway Repairshttp://bit.ly/1OfHUkT
Weak Dictator Obama Fails To Seize Texas On First Day Of Jade Helm http://bit.ly/1OfHJ92
US military exercise sparks fears of martial law http://yhoo.it/1OfHCKJ
Jade Helm 15 watchdog writes off liberals as ‘useless’: ‘I can’t wait to kill thousands of these f*cks’http://bit.ly/1OfHE5q
SCIENCE AND ENTERTAINMENT 
NASA Releases Stunning Color Images of Pluto and Charon http://wrd.cm/1OfHYBd
Amy Schumer Took Katie Couric’s Phone, Texted Her Husband “Anal Tonight”http://bit.ly/1OfIaQL
Obama Will Go on The Daily Show Before Jon Stewart Leaves http://ti.me/1OfIbEi
After 25-year hiatus, comic strip ‘Bloom County’ returns … to Facebookhttp://to.pbs.org/1OfIfnJ
Amy Schumer Is the Funniest Woman in the Galaxy http://gqm.ag/1OfIq25
Lucasfilm Issues Statement Regarding Controversial GQ Photos  http://bit.ly/1OfIpeI
Mark Hamill Weighs in on Amy Schumer’s GQ ‘Star Wars’ Photos http://bit.ly/1OfIkYu
First New X-Files Footage Airs http://bit.ly/1KeBX9G
MGM and Sinclair Group To Launch 24/7 Sci-Fi Network http://bit.ly/1KeBZOW
DUMB REPUBLICANS (PART TWO) 
Missouri County will lower flag for one-year to mourn the same-sex marriage rulinghttp://bit.ly/1OfIC1y
Rural Missouri county won’t lower courthouse flag after all http://bit.ly/1OfIFKz
Did Your US Senator Just Vote To Allow LGBT Students To Be Bullied? http://bit.ly/1OfISxw
ANTI-DUMB REPUBLICANS 
Alaska Governor Ignores GOP-Led Legislature And Expands Medicaid Without Themhttp://bit.ly/1OfJ0Nl
FOLLOW UP 
NY Times Public Editor Calls Godawful Serena Williams’ Article A “Missed Opportunity”http://bit.ly/1OfJ6Vp
J.K. Rowling shuts down Serena Williams hater in one perfect tweet http://on.mash.to/1OfJ7IM

ZenJeff

Some god Stuff

Longer story: a memory sparked from reading: Religious Trauma Syndrome: How some organized religion leads to mental health problems

ZenJeffWhen I was about 10 years old, and my disbelief was starting to grow, I had a clever little moment of clarity. I was repeatedly being set aside for “special attention” due to my irreverent attitudes (asking questions) and behaviors (I was uber-ADD). On this specific day, I went through Sunday school and got the “God helps those who help themselves*” bit, then had to go to the Bishop for a lecture at asking inappropriate questions in church (“How is God of Love when he keeps killing babies and little kids every time he gets his feelings hurt? [Isaiah 13:15-18] ).

The Bishop sat me down and began a long and laborious lecture about God’s love for me, His disappointment at my asking questions, and being too excitable, and how powerful prayer would be in fixing everything that was “wrong with me” – thus began the moment; the Genesis of that day’s clarity, if you will.

“Wrong with me?”

“Yes,” quoth the Bishop. “There is a lot wrong with you, and, if you pray, your Heavenly Father will fix you.”

“He’ll fix me?” I was a little confused.

“Heavenly Father loves you and wants you to be happy. If you pray hard enough, He’ll fix you.”

“Because I’m broken?”

“You’re not broken, but, you need to change so that you’ll be happy.”

“I’m already happy.”

“No, you’re not,” quoth the Bishop.

“And praying hard will make me happy?” I asked.

Setting aside the shitty system that lets uneducated, ignorant simple folk** lead the footsteps of a somewhat large group of people (or, as I came to call them, thinking myself erroneously unique and clever, ‘Sheeple’), here was a person, an adult, in a position of intimidating authority, telling a 10 year old that he was, in the eyes of an all powerful god (who, let’s remember, murders children in bulk [2 Kings 2:23-25] for dumb ass reasons) that the child was a thorn in the Almighty’s slipper.

It’s flat out abusive.

I was taken to my knees, and assumed the prayer position (don’t fret – it was just religious abuse, not butt stuff), and listened for around 10 endless minutes as the Bishop begged God to fix me; to make me behave; to make me stop asking questions about doctrine and scripture; to smother the flames of my enthusiasm***; to be, in my mind’s definition, Jeffrey, and not Jeff.

Jeffrey is boring as hell. He’s dull, ignorant, cookie cutter, and numb.

Jeff is hyper (well, was … I’m 42, fat, and slow now – these days, it’s just ADHD in slow motion), looks for deeper meaning, picks fights with bullies, makes mistakes, learns from failure … you get the picture.

So, there I am, listening to this fatuous gas bag entreat an imaginary Vengeance, on my behalf, to make me “better,” and to fix my aliments by smothering my intellect with ignorance and surrender. It was about a minute before I got angry, and another until I got cold, and one more to start fantasizing about dishing out a little vengeance of my own… and my brain locked into a simple, poetic, and blissful mantra:

“Fuck you.”****

I was mad, it was locked away, and there it sat, for decades … and I am so thankful for that day. No shit, this was a wonderful, glorious moment that formed the base of what I am, who I am, and what I do. It pushed me on the path the led to a very long walk to find the content of my character, as it were.

That path lead through – hell, still leads through – shit choices, painful consequences, confused decision making, flawed actions … and bliss. Total, unequivocal bliss at being free from the oppression of a self imposed homogenization – I am Name Brand ME – not the generic, mass produced stacked up meat-suits who waddle in lockstep with the protagonist of a 1600 year old collection of plagiarized mythology.

Yeah, there was a 10 year old in that room that was very hurt, and very angry; but the benefit to my years of anger-as-an-ointment life to follow is, to me, truly glorious (no matter how dented, scarred, and broken). I am the ME that I invented as I went along, not the ‘me’ manufactured by people who find fault in the pursuit of happiness.

I hate myself most of the time, yes – but I earned it, and I’m proud of it.

 

JMB

 

* Which, when you think about it, is a total scam. God is taking credit for your work, and chances are you’re passively (maybe even enthusiastically) letting “Him” do it. Think about it.

** There are exceptions. One of the smartest, kindest men I’ve ever met was a Mormon Bishop at the time.

*** That’s not me trying to find a fancy turn of phrase, he actually said that. Yes, 10 year old kids can eye roll.

**** Well, maybe “Screw You,” I was only 10 years old.

 

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243 The LEFT Show – Together Alone

Crowded house this episode as JC, Bob, Forrest, and Taylor join JM Bell in the studio for a splendorous episode of The LEFT Show! It’s the announcement of Fat Camp 3’s winner, a lot of news about all the good stuff happening in the world, mixed all up with a lot of shit, you know, to keep it real.

The LEFT Show #243

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THE LEFT SHOW 
BIG NEWS! 
STAR TREK Stars Receive New Contracts For A Fourth Film http://bit.ly/1FIwJuX
Behold, the world’s first vagina beauty pageant  http://bit.ly/1FIx4NX
Richard Matt, Escaped Prisoner in New York Manhunt, Is Fatally Shot http://nyti.ms/1FIwIqI
HEALTH STUFF 
Supreme Court Allows Nationwide Health Care Subsidies http://nyti.ms/1FIwBvq
GAY MARRIAGE! 
Six Things To Do after the Supreme Court Decision on Gay Marriage http://bit.ly/1FIwLTj
The Best (or Worst) Lines From Scalia’s Angry Dissent http://bit.ly/1HpCuVy
REPUBLICAN CLOWN CAR ROUNDUP 
Santorum Calls Charleston Shooting ‘Assault On Religious Liberty’ http://bit.ly/1HpCdlv
Lindsey Graham: The Confederate flag is ‘who we are’ – http://bit.ly/1HpCcxW
Trump Campaign Reportedly Hired Actors at $50 a Head to Attend Campaign Launch http://bit.ly/1HpCfK4
What Is Going On With This Bobby Jindal Announcement Video?  http://bit.ly/1HpD1Hf
THE OTHER STUFF 
Texas Spending $800 Million To Build Its Own Personal Border Army http://bit.ly/1HpCzZo
Dominican Republic certifies citizenship of 55,000 people, ending bureaucratic limbo http://fxn.ws/1HpCAN4
Wells Fargo Won’t Bow Down To Bigots, Will Keep Running Lesbian Ad http://bit.ly/1HpCK7a
Rosetta’s lander Philae wakes up from hibernation  http://bit.ly/1HpDetS
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