Uh, oh. I angered off the biggest political spammer in Salt Lake City! Pirate “Captain” Mark Towner likes to spew out craziness and ignorant hyperbole and, here’s the surprise, he doesn’t want to be called on it. I’ve had several phone calls this morning, some from folks that think this is pretty funny and some from Republicans that want me to know that they have not a damn thing to do with Mark.

Also, and most comforting to me, is that the premier republican blog in Utah, jumped in to distance themselves from you:

The Senate Site Says:
June 21st, 2007 at 1:02 pm

Probably should clarify a minor detail here. Mark Towner isn’t a fundraiser or political consultant to President Valentine. Towner organized a cool event. Valentine and Mark Shurtleff are friends. Everyone had a good time. That’s about the extent of it.

Have a good weekend.

So, what started all this? Mark thinks it’s a great idea to nuke Iran. He says so on his blog. I guess as a make-believe pirate, you kind of knee-jerk toward blowing things up. More on that in a moment. First, this nugget from Mark’s blog:

I have NEVER met this person, EVER and yet he feels “I’m an ignorant douche bag”

Hey Mark, we’ve not only met a few times, up on the hill and at a Sutherland Institute event, but, via email, we’ve fought about you spamming my email addresses from a non-opt out list that I’m pretty sure you swiped from Utah Policy Daily. So, either you’re a liar (i vote yes) or you suffer from selective amnesia (again, I vote yes).

You want to nuke another country, Mark. So, yeah, I think you’re an ignorant douche bag. You boneheaded neo-cons seem to think that diplomacy is spelled  W-E-A-P-O-N-S S-Y-S-T-E-M. Now, lets be honest with each other for a moment (unless you’ll break out in hives, or something); I have no problem with the use of military force. I think that Bosnia was a righteous military engagement. I think that Afghanistan was a righteous military engagement. I’m also partial to the Revolutionary War, the war of 1812, the Union side of the civil war, WWI, WWII, and Korea.

I think that Granada was silly, I think that our involvement in the Central and South America is the majority of the reason we have so many problems down there, I think that Vietnam was a gigantic and tragic waste of American lives totally based on a strategic set of lies and I think that the Iraq invasion and subsequent clusterf**k will turn out to be the biggest threat to the American Ideal and Image imaginable.

And you, you simple, pedantic sycophant, want to drop nukes on another country because about 0.00008% of their population (the government and it’s puppet masters) has murderous and hateful feelings about America. How many people do you want to kill, Mark, to nuke the world into forceful submission to the American way of life? That’s oxymoronic AND moronic at the same time. Quite a feat.

I think it’s because you lack the necessary intelligence; the function of brain mechanisms beyond breathing, babbling and both literal and figurative defecation to THINK about something other than killing people to “solve” a problem. I think, basically, that you’re a joke, that your neo-con talking points and your ignorant, thick headed view of Foreign Policy are making things far, far worse, and I can’t believe that I took three minutes to respond to you.