As I start this one, It’s about 1am. I went to bed at 10pm, and woke up at midnight, wide awake and hurting. Oh! Angry. I’m super pissed, too.
Let’s get the whine out of the way first.
I messed up my shoulders turning my old basement into a mother in law apartment a few years back. General pain, no big deal. Kind of screws up my sleeping from time to time, makes doing a push-up difficult, that kind of thing. Now, though, my left shoulder has been on fire for a couple of weeks. Sleeping is nearly impossible, and, as anyone aging knows, it gets harder and harder to muscle through fatigue the more mornings you wake up.
So, that’s what woke me.
Without too much more whining, I found out about a charitable group that offers, among other things, fund matching when you fundraise for medical expenses. I got really excited for a few minutes, fantasizing about being able to just stop the fucking pain and then I got all in my head about all the people who have more immediate and timely needs, and talked myself out of it in less than 10 seconds. Cancer trumps rotary cuff tear. You know?
Yesterday, I mentioned this to a couple of friends and they were emphatic that just because there are other people in the world worse off than you, that doesn’t make what you’re going through unimportant. It’s good advice, so, now I’m just terribly conflicted – and – there’s the voice in my head that cannot make the stretch that I have the worth or value as a human being to raise enough to cover the $6,800 I need for the surgery. See my post on mental illness HERE.
Why am I awake? Anger.
First, the kids in my life are having high anxiety about World War III. Despite my assurances that we only host world wars in Europe, the pictures they’re painting in their heads range from reinstatement of the draft to a full out Red Dawn invasion – even if kids these days don’t know what Red Dawn is – whether Patrick Swayze or Chris Hemsworth is in it*.
I don’t really have a hot take on Putin aside from him being a paranoid lunatic evil genius who has too much money and power and an unhealthy nostalgia for the heady days of Soviet communism.
Republicans, on the other hand, have forgotten the chilling war cry of WOLVERINES that strikes fear in the hearts of our communist enemies. They’ve instead decided to cuddle up with this shirtless super villain while their tangerine tinted fearful leader compliments Putin and sings the praises of authoritarian aggression.
Pathetic is what it is. When Tucker Carlson is your poster boy for right wing propaganda**, you’ve really lost touch with familiar GOP toxicity, and spiraled into hateful farce.
That’s got me frustrated, but here’s what’s got me angry.
Texas Governor Greg Abbott.
Just this last week, Abbott sent a directive to the Texas Department of Family and Protective Services demanding that they investigate transgender kids, and charge supportive parents with child abuse. He’s even demanded that teachers, doctors, and clergy “turn in” trans children and their parents.
He’s a petty, childish, hatemongering, homophobic, child murdering, fascist assclown, and I’d be delighted to have just 3 minutes alone in a room with him. As disturbing a stain as Greg Abbott is, that he’s garnered support for his insane crusade is confounding to me.
How can a person process the cheerleading of an action that is guaranteed to see a massive spike in teen suicides? How can anyone actually support a governor who comes up with the idea? How can anyone champion such a slimy creature with a slimy religious agenda? How can any Christian who has even a sprinkling of knowledge about the lessons of their gospel and their Christ’s example permit something like this?
Jesus loves the little children
All the children of the world. ***
Except in Texas? Except in America?
I’m at a total loss, and my anger has totally surrendered to sadness.
— JM
* I like them both, TBH.
** Carlson did a 180 when Putin actually invaded … god, Tucker is a piece of shit human.
*** yes, I know it’s from a hymn, I just liked the singing version better than the King James bit.
