From Moe at McSweeney’s:

Click for Republican Candidates

Click For Democratic Candidates

My favorites:

Democrat:

DENNIS KUCINICH

Pro: Solid anti-war stance; adorable; strong to the finich.

Con: Election laws limit magical pixies to only one term in office.

JESUS CHRIST

Pro: Could draw some initial interest from the Christian right until they research his actual positions in a deeper way; likable; strong leadership qualities.

Con: Unkempt; pretty far left; messianic complex.

Republicans:

NEWT GINGRICH

Pro: Well known.

Con: See above.

ZOMBIE RONALD REAGAN

Pro: Probably the most Reaganesque candidate available; if stoked with the brains of the living, should operate in an acceptable fashion.

Con: Long-dead eyes lack that magic twinkle; inhuman groans negatively impact “Great Communicator” status.