Melissa Merlot is back! JM Bell, Forrest Shaw, and JC Carter welcome her back with a slate full of goofy news. A couple of quick follow-ups and then we plunge into the reason Paul Ryan decided to be the Speaker, a resurrection of the GOP Jesus Wanker of the Week! Bill Gates, Marco Rubio, John Boehner, Star Trek, and Orange Hawaiian Orgasm-O-Matics!
THE LEFT SHOW LINKS
Sean Hannity Falls For Parody News About Syrian Refugees – And Donald Trump Repeats Ithttp://bit.ly/1l1cQwQ
FOLLOW UP – Cop Claims Brutal Assault On Indian Grandfather Was Justified Because ‘We Speak English Here’http://bit.ly/1KQjDOO
DOOMED, MOTHERFUCKERS
Paul Ryan’s Path To House Speaker Passed Through A Soup Line http://huff.to/1k26xsN
Paul Ryan Won the Right to Do Nothing http://nyr.kr/1k26yge
U.S. House Speaker Ryan rules out work with Obama on immigration http://yhoo.it/1k26BZn
9 Depressingly Kooky Facts About Paul Ryan http://bit.ly/1KQj9rL
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RELIGION!
Anti-Abortion Group Admits to Falsifying Latest Video – http://bit.ly/1k269u9.
‘Transgender crowd’ will use magnets to suck God from your brain http://bit.ly/1k26ddi
The Pious Christian Conservative Owners Of Hobby Lobby Just Got Busted By The Fedshttp://bit.ly/1KQjJG1
GOP JESUS WANKER OF THE WEEK!
Texas Christians lament ‘freedom of religion’ while protesting Church of Lucifer openinghttp://bit.ly/1k24LaW
Ted Cruz: ‘Climate Change Is Not Science. It’s Religion.’ http://bit.ly/1k266yp
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RANDOM POLITICAL STUFF!
Sanders Slams Republicans For ‘Amnesia’ Over Wrecking The Economy http://bit.ly/1KQjN8I
Marco Rubio ‘Hates’ The Senate, Because Governing Is Work http://bit.ly/1KQjWsR
Boehner Wins Repeal Of Obamacare Provision You Never Knew Existedhttp://huff.to/1KQk4bC
5 Reasons Why Being Poor Is Actually Incredibly Expensive http://bit.ly/1KQkm2n
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SCIENCE AND STUFF!
Bill Gates: The Private Sector Is Inept http://bit.ly/1KQk8Z4
Scientists are days from finding out if that mysterious star could actually harbor alienshttp://bit.ly/1KQkajy
This Hawaiian Mushroom Makes Women Orgasm Just By Smelling It http://bit.ly/1KQki2v
There Are Two Star Trek Movies Coming Out Next Year. http://bit.ly/1KQjfji
‘Supergirl’ Actress Responds Perfectly To Jeb Bush’s Creepy Comment (VIDEO)http://bit.ly/1KQkcbh
