Twas the night before Christmas – Old Santa was pissed,
he cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks,
I have a good mind to scrap the whole works.
I’ve busted my ass for damn near a year,
instead of thank Santa, what do I hear?
The old lady bitches, cause I work late at night,
The elves want more money – the reindeer all fight.
Rudolph got drunk, and goosed all the maids,
Donner is pregnant, and Vixen has AIDS.
And just when I thought that things would get better,
those assholes from IRS sent me a letter.
They say I owe taxes – if that ain’t damn funny,
who the hell ever sent Santa Clause any money?
And the kids these days – they are all just the pits,
they want the impossible, those mean little shits..
There’s no Christmas this year, you now know the reason,
I’ve found me a blonde, I’m going SOUTH for the season!!
JM Bell, Janneke House, Bob Henline, and Forrest Shaw ARE the reason for the season!