Set aside the silliness that is Rep. Frank’s chronic non-binding resolution writing. While it may be a gigantic waste of time, the only up side of Rep. Frank’s uninspired, unimaginative and risible interpretation of a “what a lawmaker does” his NBR’s wont cost the state anything on court costs because they’re an unconstitutional law. Just an incredibly banal waste of time. Set it aside.
Rep. Frank wants to join the big boy’s club and run a bill next year.
Rep. Frank wants to raise your taxes, because you don’t follow the Word of Wisdom.
Rep. Frank wants to tax caffeine.
Rep Frank and I are now mortal foes.
CAFFEINE? Are you OUT OF YOUR MIND? Do you have any idea how frustrated I am that I don’t live in your district and can’t run against you with my new found DIET COKE FROM MY COLD, DEAD HANDS! campaign theme? I would crush you.
From the Trib:
Have a Coke and a tax.
That’s what Rep. Craig Frank wants his colleagues in the Legislature to consider.
Frank, R-American Fork, has asked lawmakers over the next year to study the potential for taxing caffeine, a response to proposals this session to hike the tax on cigarettes – all of which failed.
Frank said his intent initially was just to target caffeinated sodas and other cold beverages, but he has decided to look at the substance more broadly.
“Some feel [the cigarette tax is] a tax on those who are addicted to a substance that frankly they enjoy [but] we say that’s a harmful thing to do.
At the same time, the government is addicted to the fee revenues,” said Frank. “So in light of that, if we’re really going to find a revenue stream on something addictive, why not cold caffeine?”
So, Craig – when you’re walking down the hall of your ward house, with your pious head held high, basking in the inner glow of self delusion that, as a GOP lawmaker you’re smarter and better than everybody else, those whispers that you hear? … that’s the Relief Society planning to drop a couch on you.
Won’t someone please think of the BILLBOARDS!
Maybe we should just require a membership at Starbucks. Not to mention the fact that all of the Hot Choclate served at various functions contains caffeine, how do we regulate that?
A lot of the Mormons I know love caffeinated soda, so he’s hurting his own. Now if he goes after coffee . . .
We could tax a lot of word of wisdom items first (since caffeine is not specifically mentioned in the word of wisdom) like meat eating (the W of W says to eat very little, mainly in times of famine). When taxing that kind of consumption we’d be doing a lot of good by lessening the carbon footprints of the carnivorous crowd.
Jasonthe reminds me that we should tax the billboards too — with the highest taxes going being assesed to billboards in the city on perfectly liveable lots that should either be mini parks, community gardens, or apartment housing (I’m thinking of the wasted lots near East High, and one on 300 East and 1300 South, as examples).
I read this article in the trib as I was drinking my morning coffee.
Here is my problem: 1) though caffeine is a drug, the simple fact of the matter is that the stigma behind it is utterly different from the two other socially acceptable drugs – tobacco and alcohol; this reason alone means that we need to treat it differently. 2) Does Rep. Frank have any idea idea how representation works? You generally have a hard time passing anything that the people oppose (and believe you, me, the people will hate this bill).
Also, Jeff, you lose points for leaving out Frank’s quote that caffeine “can cause spontaneous abortion.” Do with that what you will bloggers.
Does Utah have so little crime, like, Murders, Drug dealers, oh, take that back these are drugs, Abuse and any other crime you can think of that they really need to tax these things. Are power drinks included? If not, you really need to get on that. See, they will have full control of what you can eat and drink. My hubby got a bit pissed off about the coke is evil thing so he actually found a study that compares chocolate and Coke, guess which one has more? Chocolate, no Hersheys for Utah. The Mormon Mafia will be after you for having vices. Good Luck! This is one of the bills I will put in my dumbest bills file. and I have some great ones.
You do know he’s kidding, right? Kidding. He wanted to make a point – and has done so quite successfully, I might add – that we are starting to head down a path of too much taxation on too many people. He’s against the cigarette tax and he’s against a caffeine tax. And besides – Gerhke left out a word – he was talking about a COLD caffeine tax…..I usually take mine at room temperature….
I have an even better solution, lets tax all of the idiots who vote for people like Craig Frank to be in office.
I suppose in Utah, the phrase “separation of church and state” is a very hush-toned one.
So Mr. Bigshot Frank thinks caffiene is the new dangerous drug? That it can cause “abortions” and ill “side effects” in “excessive” amounts. Thats the key word. “Excessive.” Almost ANYTHING in “excessive” amounts will be harmful to you sooner or later. Why aren’t we taxing fat people on their burgers and fries? Why aren’t we taxing vitamin supplements? Is Frank in on some conspiracy where the reasons for murders and DUIs lie behind caffiene consumption that we’re not on?
I guess we’ll realize the hidden meaning of “family values” when a truck drivers start falling asleep and causing pile-ups on the freeway.
Hah. California considers taxing Marijuana and two states over, Utah, is considering taxing caffiene.
I think there should also be a TAX on hoarded food! I understand Mormons store up to TWO years of food. Also since this goof is so concerned about ‘addictions’ he might want to have psycological exams done on all Foggy Bottom politicians to test for hidden ‘sexual addictions’ what with all those pages running around. FRANK should tell his cohorts in Foggy Bottom that ALL coffee/ decaffeinate TEA is to be removed from their PRIVATE dining rooms.
I’m good with it just so long as it’s not a $2.50 tax per Big Gulp–unless we can get gas back to 27 cents per gallon.
😉
Seriously…it’s more bizarre in my mind (by far) than Jim Matheson’s calorie-posting requirement bill in Washington.
Holly – I don’t think he was kidding until nearly everybody piled on. He was on Nightside the last night of the session defending the idea – albeit in a weird way. Maybe he can’t make himself understood, or make his point without confusion – I don’t know. I can only go by what he says, not what I interpret his deeper meaning to be.
I just burst out laughing when I heard it. I know there was just no way all those pepsi and coke drinking Legislators would ever go for it.
I think that there are a some of those elected officials on that Hill that have a contest amongst themselves to see who can come up with the dumbest, silliest bill of the session.